Inspiration for the day

I went to the Foster Parent Resource House here in JC today. I was totally blown away. The lady that runs it has made it her mission to help all foster parents with anything she can.

THE DREAM ROOM

GIRLS CLOTHING ROOM

She had 2 rooms filled with clothes for kids. She had an upstairs filled with brand new formals, dress shoes and jewlery for teenagers.(It was called the dream room)

Each kid that goes there gets a backpack with supplies, underwear, socks, certificates for free haircuts. If they need a car seat she gives them a brand new car seat. I was just amazed by all of the help she gave. They also provide foster families with groceries each month. She gives each teen in fostercare a free dinner for them and their prom date.

I have truly never been as inspired by a person than what I was today. Check out the website. There is always a way to help a child in need.

http://www.ccfosteradopt.com/

We are Foster Parents!

Well it has been a while since my last blog….a lot has changed in the Farmer House.

On 01/06/10 Sean and I got our first foster child placement. It was a 6yr old and an 8 yr old. It didn’t take Sean and I very long to decide that we would give this one a try. What could it hurt. On 01/07/10 our fears and anticipations were high. The children were going to be at our house at 5pm. We couldn’t hardly work that day. We were so anxious. We came home that evening to 2 beautiful children. In the back of my mind I had the evening planned…to say the least it didn’t go that way. My greatest fear going into this honestly was dealing with head lice and of course on our first placement both children come to our house with it. We made it through the evening with great friends helping wash hair, comb through it and helping us in any way they could. Thank God for all of you. (Cindy, Michelle, Jessica, Kim, Heather & Eddie were live savors during the lice crisis)

We woke the next morning to some very different emotions from the kids and knew maybe we were in for our first problems. After dr’s appointments and discussions it was determined that the 6 yr old would not stay with us right now. We did keep the 8 year old.

She has been a huge blessing to both Sean and I as well as our families. Her smile lights up a room. She is just one of the most beautiful little girls you would ever meet. (I think I am probably a little partial) We are looking forward to her finishing her 2nd grade school here in California. She starts gymnastics on Monday night. We also are going to enroll her in midget softball this summer. We want to give her the most normal life as any 8 yr old can have. We want to give her every opportunity to do things while she is with us.

Becoming a foster parent is one of the most important commitments I have made, along with saying "I do" to my husband. There have been times when I wanted to run screaming from the house because of unreturned caseworker calls or a bad temper tantrum. But when I hold my foster child and see the her smile into my eyes, or watch her grow, the hardships dissolve and I thank God for the blessings of this child.

Yes, I know it is going to be difficult to say good-bye when she moves on, but knowing in my heart that the journey with her took both of us to a higher place will overshadow our loss. It's like saying good-bye to an old friend--the sadness will diminish when I remember how she has touched our lives.

For anyone ever considering becoming a foster parent I would recommend this:

Despite all the training and preparation, there is no way to predict what life will be like with your foster child. The only guarantee is that you are giving this child an opportunity to be loved, trusted, and guided into adulthood.

Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches I thought I would ponder the things I am thankful for this past year….

I have the most wonderful, amazing husband. He is my rock. I don’t know what I would do without him. I truly believe the saying that, “ happiness is being married to your best friend”.

I have the most loving caring family a girl could ask for.

I was blessed this year to finally get a brother. Steph, you did good. Your wedding was beautiful and you looked like a princess that day.

Sean and I have the best parents-they love and support us in any decisions we make. Thank you for your love and support throughout our foster classes and our decision to follow through with this.

I am so thankful for the bible study girls. I look forward to Wednesday nights with you gals. I love the tight bond and friendships that have been made from this. It is so good to know we can count on each other for anything. Oh, I also love those bible studies that give us a good cry.

I am thankful for my loving church family. We have truly been blessed with an amazing pastor. Eddie, you are doing a great job. There is so much good yet to come. I cannot wait to be a part of it.

I am thankful for my job. Now, I can honestly say I am not the happiest some days while I am at it but, all in all I am happy with it. At least I have a job.

There is so much more I am thankful for. It is just hard to list all of them. I do want to say thanks to all my friends and family for your love, prayers and support you have given Sean and I over the last few months. Your kind words, help finding toys & clothes and your prayers mean the world to us. We cannot wait for each of you to be a special part of what is left to come on our journey.

Hopefully 2010 the Farmer House will have some kids running around in it. Yes, I know…..Our lives are going to completely change and we should enjoy it now. I have heard this probably 100 times in the last 6 months. Trust me, we know this and we are ready for this change!!

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!

Love,
Jessica

Update on our progress

Sorry it has been a while since my last blog.
This is where we stand on the process of our foster/adoption. Tomorrow night we will hit week 8 of class. After that we have one week left and we are done. Then once we are done with the classes we will get licensed and should be able to foster in about 3 weeks….exciting right???

We are very nervous and exited. We still have lots to do to get our house ready. Sean, Stephanie(my sister) and I went to Target yesterday to register for some items we know we are going to need. We have been blessed with such a great church family and many of them have been asking how they can help.

First and foremost we need prayers. Keep us and our future foster children in your prayers daily. These kids are coming from bad situations and need the love and support of our family and friends.

Second, if you have any extra clothes for children ages 0-6 years and want to get rid of them, we would gladly take them. The kids will be coming to us with just the clothes on their backs. We will take and use anything you are willing to give us.

Last, if you do want to help out with any supplies that we may need we have registered at Target. I know it is hard to understand why we did but once you see the list you will see why. There are many things we do not have and will need. God only knows the plan for our family. We may have 10 kids before he gives us the one that will be ours to adopt or we may only have foster children. Whatever the case we want to be ready for what he has planned for us.

**Sunday 11/08/09 is National Orphan Sunday**

Sean and I will be speaking at our church on our decision to become foster parents and adopt. This Sunday is to raise awareness of the foster child situation and promote a better understanding of the children in foster care.
I will leave you with some facts to think about:

More than 800,000 children pass through our country’s foster care system each year.

There are over 500,000 children in our foster care system right now. 129,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted from foster care right now. That’s how many peoplelive in the capitol of South Carolina.

Approximately, 25,000 children age out of thefoster care system each year; many with no support system and little to no life skills.

There are currently over 5,400 children in South Carolina’s foster care. Over 1,500 of them are waiting to be adopted. So far this year only a couple hundred of them have
been adopted.
This brings us to this question: How many children are adopted each year?

Between 118,000 and 127,000 children have been adopted every year since 1987. More than 50 percent of all adoptions are handled by public agencies or come from countries outside the United States.

More than one-third of Americans have seriously considered
adopting, but no more than 2 percent have actually adopted. Only 4 percent of families with children (1.7 million households) contain adopted children.

Mixed Emotions

Well I have to say this is this first day in a long time I have had one of those really disappointing days. Monday I called my ob/gyn to tell her that my cycle still had not started since my surgery(07/01). Sean was very concerned something was wrong, me I wasn’t too worried yet. After surgery she gave us the hope that pregnancy would come fairly easy. There was nothing she could find physically wrong with me. So, she decided I needed blood work to see what was going on. I went Tuesday for the blood work…..the wait begins.

On the ride home Monday night Sean and I just talked about how exciting it would be if I was pregnant. You know, you always hear the stories of people “adopting” and then getting pregnant. Well we thought maybe this was it. We were going to start our foster/adoption classes the next day. In the back of my mind I just kept thinking how great this would be, Mom’s b-day is 09/17 and Sean’s b-day 09/18. What better birthday presents than a baby on the way?

By now(today), I finally get a call from the dr. We are not pregnant, however all other levels are good. So I am happy about that. Nothing is still physically wrong with me. So I start medicine today to induce a cycle hopefully. Hopefully that will work. If not I have to call back to have more tests scheduled.

I subscribe to a daily blog about infertility and this came…..not at a better time.

I was recently reading a passage of Scripture in Mark about Jesus feeding a huge crowd of people with nothing more than five loaves of bread and two small fish. I’m such a visual thinker, and as I read this story I love to image the astonished faces of the front-row witnesses to such a mind-boggling miracle. Can’t you hear their lips smacking as Jesus took what started out as nothing more than a little boy’s lunch and multiplied it into a belly-busting buffet for five thousand men, plus all the women and their children, with twelve full baskets of leftovers to take home? What a faith-building story for those of us who need God’s provision!

But don’t stop there! Keep reading through Mark’s writings and see what else happened to Jesus and His disciples in that same day. It was quite an exciting day to say the least. The disciples got into a boat as Jesus told them to do, and He went into the mountains for some prayer time alone. While they were sailing, a huge storm erupted and they were terrified! Just as they thought they would surely drown, they look up and here come Jesus walking on the water toward them! Can you imagine what it must have been like? At first they thought He was a ghost, but eventually they realized He was the Son of God, literally walking on the water toward them, and He calmed their storm! Can you imagine what they told their wives when they asked “So honey, how was your day today?”

These true stories are some of my favorites in the entire Bible. I have read them more times than I could possibly count, have taught them and have written about them. If you had asked me if I knew these stories, I would have confidently told you I knew these passages well. The other day, God informed me that I had missed a very important point in the story!

Wait! What did I miss? I’ve read this a gabillion times! Maybe you have too, but even so, read it with me again. It’s amazing how there are so many nuggets of truth in God Word. This one is nestled right there at the end of the story about the disciples in the storm. Jesus has just calmed the chaos and climbed in the boat. The disciples are dripping with rainwater and doubt when Mark 6:51-52 says “they were utterly astonished, for they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves but their heart was hardened.”

When I read this Scripture for the thousandth time the other night, my mouth literally dropped open, and it was as if I read it for the first time. They had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves but their heart was hardened? Are you kidding me? How did they watch the Son of God take a handful of food and literally transform it into enough food to fill the stomachs of thousands upon thousands of hungry people and think He was clueless about the storm they were about to sail into? How could they stand so near to Jesus, watch Him lay His hands on sick bodies and watch them be healed, hear God robed in flesh as He spoke comfort to grieving hearts and allow their own hearts to be hardened? How could they miss the miracles?

The same way I do.

How can I go through my day and not see God’s provision in my life? Have I not gained any insight from the miraculous incidents God has allowed to be played out right in front of me? There were so many times I told God how hard infertility was, and how alone I felt. God provided a friend to share my burden, to help me carry this weight. Perhaps she was God’s way of providing the bread and fish to my hungry soul! Did I miss God’s measure of peace in my storm, spoken to me through my pastor’s sermon, or a kind word from a friend? I don’t want to miss out! I don’t want my heart to be hardened.

As we all do, I sometimes forget to thank god for all the blessings I have in my life. I have the best family and friends a person could ask for. Thank you God for giving me the many blessings you do.

Everyone have a great weekend. See you at the Ham and Turkey Festival!

Love,
Jessica

Unhappy People

**I have just been dealing with some of these people lately and found this article***

This has been on my mind for a couple of days on how to deal with these people, I am looking for my answer. Jessica

Unhappy people are usually unhappy because they have not mastered the ability to be happy within themselves. Therefore, they may try and gain happiness/pleasure through others no matter what that entails. Don't get confused with my usage of unhappiness and then compare it to depression because they are two different things. This article is about unhappy people - not depressed people.

An unhappy person often uses others to get what they need out of life. At first this may work, but after a while the relationship begins to experience problems because their partner cannot tolerate the life getting literally sucked out of them. This kind of needy and spongy behavior is what the medical and psychiatric establishments like to call, "codependency".

There is nothing really wrong with these kinds of people, except for the fact they need to come out of their selfishness, grow up, be accountable and take responsibility for their own happiness. Unfortunately when certain establishments coin codependency as some life long emotional problem, people don't take responsibility for their behavior. For them it's always someone else's fault why they drink, why they look at porn, why they do drugs, why they have an anger management problem, why they feel like the whole world owes them a favor, and why they continue to live a bitter filled existence.

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." -- Og Mandino

The problem begins when the unhappy person does not get all of their needs and desires met through someone else and believe they are unhappy because of the person they married. But in actuality nothing is further from the truth. Unhappy and bitter people have made an addiction for themselves - they have a compulsion to wallow in their misery. They are stuck inside of their discontent and bitter heart and can't get out, no matter how much they continue to use and abuse others for happiness.

The miserable person may even seem jovial to others on the outside - they go to work every day, take care of their families, and seem to have a normal life, but on the inside something is amiss with these unhappy, bitter folks. They often complain about others, and try and control any one they can to get their needs and desires met. But marriage, and any relationship for that matter, cannot stand up under such abuse and the marriage usually ends in divorce.

So, what can an unhappy person do to help themselves out of their misery? First off the unhappy person should realize that happiness does not grow on trees - you cannot get happiness through others. You are hurting so many people in the process of creating happiness for yourself and that is very wrong.

Happiness is found within the person you are - you master happiness for yourself, once you master the art of connecting with your Creator. If your connection is faulty so will be the person you can be - the whole and complete person you were created to become. Happiness is made through building up your spiritual connection with God. God gives us everything we need to sustain ourselves with. If you have made room in your heart for His wisdom, knowledge and love, then you will find happiness within.

Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you shall receive, and your JOY will be complete." (John 16:24 NIV)

ABC's of Hope

Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with Thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4;8

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16

Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6

He that abideth in me, and I in Him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Psalm 31:1

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 1:21

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever. Psalm 106:1

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Psalm 80:18

Rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee... Deuteronomy 26:11

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:2

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live; and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Psalm 119:116

Verily, verily, I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you. John 16:23

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... Psalm 127:1

Ye shall seek Me, and find Me when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion... Psalm 128:5

Scriptural references are from the King James version of the Bible