ABC's of Hope

Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with Thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4;8

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16

Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6

He that abideth in me, and I in Him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Psalm 31:1

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 1:21

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever. Psalm 106:1

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Psalm 80:18

Rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee... Deuteronomy 26:11

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:2

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live; and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Psalm 119:116

Verily, verily, I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you. John 16:23

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... Psalm 127:1

Ye shall seek Me, and find Me when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion... Psalm 128:5

Scriptural references are from the King James version of the Bible

Heavy Hearts

As I write this blog to day I write with a heavy heart. Yesterday we found out that Heather and Eddie(our pastor and his wife) had a miscarrige of their second child. My heart hurt so bad for them last night. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of the loss that they are suffering.

I keep thinking of this bible verse: Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

**I found this poem today and it made me think of their family.**

I never got to know you before you went away,
Because God took you home to heave where we’ll meet another day.
God says you’re his tiniest angel and you need to come home.
For reasons I don’t know , you went where angels roam.
Please know how much I miss you and though I may not understand,
I will trust a God who is faithful and live the life he has planned.
He says that you’lll be whole now so there is no need to cry .
Then reminds me of his own son, who on the cross for me had died.
I know one day I’ll meet you, but for now I will just stand still
And not question our Father’s reason because I know that it’s his will.
If I look when night is darkest at the stars that twinkle bright,
I will see God’s tiniest angel and the wings reflecting light.

Please continue to pray for this Eddie, Heather and both of their families as they deal this loss.

We love you guys!

Finally Over...

The dreaded home study is finally over. It was a long weekend and long start to the first of the week. Yesterday was the home study we had been preparing for. I would venture to say if people had to do everything on the list to get their house ready they would think twice about having kids. We cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. The house looks really good. Sunday we went to Home Depot and spent about $100 to buy some stuff to childproof the house. Only to discover that yesterday it didn't matter. She didn't check to see if any drawers or cabinets had the locks on them. The caseworker was at hour home for about 20 minutes total. She asked us several questions and did a brief walk through of the home. She gave us hope that we would have a child in our house by the first of the year. It may only be to foster but it is a start. We are so excited to possibly have a child here by Christmas. Christmas would be so different in our house.

We have a little more paperwork to complete and our training starts on 09/15 for 9 weeks. Keep us in your prayers daily.

Hurt and New Friendships

Never before did I imagine the impact infertility could have on a couple. Never did I dream that I could hurt so bad for something I didn’t have. All along the way, many times I was told by many people God has a plan for you and Sean. As many times as I heard it, sometimes it was often hard to accept. As the days, then months and eventually years past I wondered when was this plan going to come into effect.

I can see now as I come closer to God and open my heart the plan is starting to form. The times I strayed away seemed to be the times I hurt the most. God has placed some very important people in our lives right now that are helping us in our walk. Without the positive influence of Heather every time I talk to her I don’t know how I would go some days. She has became one of my close and dearest friends and I thank God every day for giving me a friend like that. I look back and see how Sean had been put on the pastor search committee to find the perfect pastor for us. Was it all in the plan? Did they find just want we needed? A pastor for a hurting church and a new set of friends for a hurting couple? I seem to think it happened for a reason…and I am VERY thankful for it.

Sean and I did receive some great news today. Home study is 08/12/09. We no longer have to attend the training at the Lake of the Ozarks, they enrolled us in the ones in Jefferson City and our background and fingerprints will be all done in the next week.
I am very very excited. Keep us in your prayers.

Our love,
Sean and Jessica

Wedding Pictures

We got a sneak peak of Stephanie and Andrew's wedding pictures today. Check them out. It was a beautiful day and they made such a beautiful couple. I feel blessed to have been a part of it.

http://meganthiele.blogspot.com/

Why do I worry?

I got an email about worry today and it really made me think. Now if any of you know me you know that I am a natural worrier. I worry about anything and everything. Here lately it has been about the kitchen remodel and the home study. For some reason I just am not the kind of person to let things go and realize it will all be taken care of and fall into place. However, after reading the email I sort of see things a little different.

Ponder this thought...

As infertile couples, there are many issues that we face that other people don’t even consider. For example, the dreaded baby shower! Other people get an invitation to a baby shower and the only complaint they have is that they don’t have time to run to the store to pick up a gift! The woman who struggles with infertility knows what’s inside the envelope as soon as she sees it in the mailbox. It weighs at least 1,000 pounds as she carries it inside! She has to sit down and cry for a few minutes before she garners enough strength to open it up and read it. She forces herself to read the “happy” news, and writes the date and time down on her calendar, right next to the reminder that she has another appointment for blood work on the same day. As she wipes her eyes and blows her nose, she wonders how she’ll make it through another baby shower. Oh, she’ll go! It’ll kill her, but she’ll go! Why? She worries what people would think if she didn’t go. She worries that she’ll be viewed as selfish if she forces herself to go, but cries the whole time. She just worries.

She worries about her future too. She worries that the strain is going to be too much on her marriage. She worries that if she is never able to conceive, that she and her husband won’t be able to agree on whether or not to adopt. She worries that if they can’t agree on adoption, that they will never have children. She worries that she will die alone. She just worries.

**Now for the best part of the email***

Do you realize that the very same God who said to you “Do not kill,” and “Do not steal,” also says to you “Do not worry”? He says not to worry because not only does worry weigh you down and make you fearful, worry does nothing to help the situation! And which of you by worrying can add a sing hour to his life’s span? How beautiful it is for God to tell you not to worry! He can do this because He is the One who can make right all the wrongs in your life! He has all power and authority in Heaven and in earth and He tells you not to worry! He even hold authority over infertility, and He tells you not to worry!

He says the same to you today. “Don’t worry, daughter. I know the desires of your heart. You feel all alone in this struggle, but I’m right there with you. I’ll take care of you through it all.” You simply don’t have to worry. Whatever God’s plan is for you, He tells you not to worry because He is fully capable of taking care of you throughout the entirety of His plan. From start to finish, you are under His care, so you can find rest.

Does that mean every thing will be easy sailing? Not necessarily. But we know that God has known every day of your life from beginning to end (Psalm 139:16), and He is fully capable of seeing you through good days and bad, happy times and sad. No matter what you face, whether it is pregnancy, miscarriage, adoption, joy, sorrow, or any combination thereof, God is able to see you through. And because He is able to see you through, He says to you, don’t worry.

So my goal for the next few months is not to worry(as much) as I normall do. I know it will all come together and things will be just the way they are meant to be. My friends, remind me of this daily. It really helps to have the encouragement of others.

Home Study Approaching

Well I sit here today with a lot on my mind. Mainly the thought of our home study finally coming next week. I wonder will our home be as perfect as I want it? What more could we need? There is Sean, myself and our little dog Sammy. The house is filled with more love than a person could imagine. We are so ready to share this love with a child that needs to be loved.

I have never felt the urgency of wanting a child as much as I have in this last month. A few of the girls I go to church with have found out they are pregnant and honestly I have to say the little bit of my jealous side came out. But as my wonderful husband tells me...."our turn is coming". Well our turn will start next week. I almost feel like I have the anticipation of being pregnant...I know I know....it is not the same but yet it kind of is. We don't know the sex of the child going to be given to us. Sean says he wants only boys if he can choose....we will see when that happens.

We will be attending foster/adoption classes starting on September for 9 weeks. We will go every Thursday night from 6-9pm. This will prepare us four our exciting journey.

I came a cross this website today and felt I should share. I have delt with many struggles and challenges along our way and want everyone to know who has not delt with this issue it is very hard. I know that everyone knows someone going through the hard time of infertility. Just remember what you say to that person. What sounds good to you may sound completly different in a childless couples ears.


Some Do's and Don'ts to Say To A Childless Couple.

Please Don't Say: "This must be the will of God for your life."- That may be, but if you lost a loved one to death, would you really want someone to say that to you in your grief?

Please Do Say: "Can I pray with you about this"?

Please Don't Say: "You can always adopt a child"- True, and adoption is a blessing for alot of people, but for many women they still feel the need to bear a child. Consider Proverbs 30:15-16,..."There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'enough'!: the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, 'Enough!'

Please Do Say: "I will pray for you fervently and ask the Lord to bless you and give you the desire of your heart".

Don'ts with Quotes
"You're trying too hard, it should just happen." or "You should adopt and then you'd get pregnant."
Only one percent of couples who adopt, get pregnant.

A Quote: "This always irritated me too . . . I guess because it made me feel like it was 'my fault' I couldn't get pregnant. You know, like if we would start to adopt, we would relax and 'bingo' we'd be doing it right and get pregnant!"

"Stress is causing it" or "You just need to *relax* and you'll get pregnant."

A Quote: " Infertility is not just a state of mind. Relaxing didn't make me start ovulating, it was the Clomid"

"I'd give you mine if I could"

A Quote: "I understand that the person is just trying to say she cares, but this can be a particularly painful statement for the women with an infertility problem"

"You are so lucky not to have kids right now, because you can just do whatever you want whenever you want"

A Quote: "It just gets frustrating because we all want children, and it seems like people try to "comfort" me by telling me all of the negative reasons on why not to have children. Like I said it would be nice if we had the choice of being parents or not in the first place."

" God knows what is best for you"

A Quote: "I know that these are very true statements but when I'm feeling about as low as I can be and I'm balling my eyes out these words aren't very comforting coming from people that have children and have no clue as to what my husband and I are going through."

Extremely insensitive things to say to the childless women
"Would you like one of my children?"
"So, you have to go through a little treatment, no big deal."
"So are you still trying?"
"Have a bun in the oven yet?"
"When are you going to give me a grand baby?"
"Maybe you're not doing it right."
"Isn't she/he cute... wouldn't you like one"

Some Do's' Don'ts and Quotes, from woman who have miscarried.
"At least it didn't have a heartbeat yet."

A Quote: " I still mourn the loss of our children. I wonder what they would have been like. I wonder who they would have looked like, whether they were sons or daughters. How can people be so crass at such a heart wrenching experience?

"It was probably nature's way of resolving a deformity"

A Quote: "It isn't true that most miscarriages are due to a problem with the development of the fetus, but many people think this is the case. Again, it is hardly comforting".

Do Say: "I am so sorry that you lost the baby. I know how much you loved and wanted it."
*Thank you LIW for this special list of Do's, Don'ts and quotes. I really appreciate you sending them to me*

Thanks to all our friends and family for being so supportive in our decision to go through with this.