Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches I thought I would ponder the things I am thankful for this past year….

I have the most wonderful, amazing husband. He is my rock. I don’t know what I would do without him. I truly believe the saying that, “ happiness is being married to your best friend”.

I have the most loving caring family a girl could ask for.

I was blessed this year to finally get a brother. Steph, you did good. Your wedding was beautiful and you looked like a princess that day.

Sean and I have the best parents-they love and support us in any decisions we make. Thank you for your love and support throughout our foster classes and our decision to follow through with this.

I am so thankful for the bible study girls. I look forward to Wednesday nights with you gals. I love the tight bond and friendships that have been made from this. It is so good to know we can count on each other for anything. Oh, I also love those bible studies that give us a good cry.

I am thankful for my loving church family. We have truly been blessed with an amazing pastor. Eddie, you are doing a great job. There is so much good yet to come. I cannot wait to be a part of it.

I am thankful for my job. Now, I can honestly say I am not the happiest some days while I am at it but, all in all I am happy with it. At least I have a job.

There is so much more I am thankful for. It is just hard to list all of them. I do want to say thanks to all my friends and family for your love, prayers and support you have given Sean and I over the last few months. Your kind words, help finding toys & clothes and your prayers mean the world to us. We cannot wait for each of you to be a special part of what is left to come on our journey.

Hopefully 2010 the Farmer House will have some kids running around in it. Yes, I know…..Our lives are going to completely change and we should enjoy it now. I have heard this probably 100 times in the last 6 months. Trust me, we know this and we are ready for this change!!

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!

Love,
Jessica

Update on our progress

Sorry it has been a while since my last blog.
This is where we stand on the process of our foster/adoption. Tomorrow night we will hit week 8 of class. After that we have one week left and we are done. Then once we are done with the classes we will get licensed and should be able to foster in about 3 weeks….exciting right???

We are very nervous and exited. We still have lots to do to get our house ready. Sean, Stephanie(my sister) and I went to Target yesterday to register for some items we know we are going to need. We have been blessed with such a great church family and many of them have been asking how they can help.

First and foremost we need prayers. Keep us and our future foster children in your prayers daily. These kids are coming from bad situations and need the love and support of our family and friends.

Second, if you have any extra clothes for children ages 0-6 years and want to get rid of them, we would gladly take them. The kids will be coming to us with just the clothes on their backs. We will take and use anything you are willing to give us.

Last, if you do want to help out with any supplies that we may need we have registered at Target. I know it is hard to understand why we did but once you see the list you will see why. There are many things we do not have and will need. God only knows the plan for our family. We may have 10 kids before he gives us the one that will be ours to adopt or we may only have foster children. Whatever the case we want to be ready for what he has planned for us.

**Sunday 11/08/09 is National Orphan Sunday**

Sean and I will be speaking at our church on our decision to become foster parents and adopt. This Sunday is to raise awareness of the foster child situation and promote a better understanding of the children in foster care.
I will leave you with some facts to think about:

More than 800,000 children pass through our country’s foster care system each year.

There are over 500,000 children in our foster care system right now. 129,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted from foster care right now. That’s how many peoplelive in the capitol of South Carolina.

Approximately, 25,000 children age out of thefoster care system each year; many with no support system and little to no life skills.

There are currently over 5,400 children in South Carolina’s foster care. Over 1,500 of them are waiting to be adopted. So far this year only a couple hundred of them have
been adopted.
This brings us to this question: How many children are adopted each year?

Between 118,000 and 127,000 children have been adopted every year since 1987. More than 50 percent of all adoptions are handled by public agencies or come from countries outside the United States.

More than one-third of Americans have seriously considered
adopting, but no more than 2 percent have actually adopted. Only 4 percent of families with children (1.7 million households) contain adopted children.

Mixed Emotions

Well I have to say this is this first day in a long time I have had one of those really disappointing days. Monday I called my ob/gyn to tell her that my cycle still had not started since my surgery(07/01). Sean was very concerned something was wrong, me I wasn’t too worried yet. After surgery she gave us the hope that pregnancy would come fairly easy. There was nothing she could find physically wrong with me. So, she decided I needed blood work to see what was going on. I went Tuesday for the blood work…..the wait begins.

On the ride home Monday night Sean and I just talked about how exciting it would be if I was pregnant. You know, you always hear the stories of people “adopting” and then getting pregnant. Well we thought maybe this was it. We were going to start our foster/adoption classes the next day. In the back of my mind I just kept thinking how great this would be, Mom’s b-day is 09/17 and Sean’s b-day 09/18. What better birthday presents than a baby on the way?

By now(today), I finally get a call from the dr. We are not pregnant, however all other levels are good. So I am happy about that. Nothing is still physically wrong with me. So I start medicine today to induce a cycle hopefully. Hopefully that will work. If not I have to call back to have more tests scheduled.

I subscribe to a daily blog about infertility and this came…..not at a better time.

I was recently reading a passage of Scripture in Mark about Jesus feeding a huge crowd of people with nothing more than five loaves of bread and two small fish. I’m such a visual thinker, and as I read this story I love to image the astonished faces of the front-row witnesses to such a mind-boggling miracle. Can’t you hear their lips smacking as Jesus took what started out as nothing more than a little boy’s lunch and multiplied it into a belly-busting buffet for five thousand men, plus all the women and their children, with twelve full baskets of leftovers to take home? What a faith-building story for those of us who need God’s provision!

But don’t stop there! Keep reading through Mark’s writings and see what else happened to Jesus and His disciples in that same day. It was quite an exciting day to say the least. The disciples got into a boat as Jesus told them to do, and He went into the mountains for some prayer time alone. While they were sailing, a huge storm erupted and they were terrified! Just as they thought they would surely drown, they look up and here come Jesus walking on the water toward them! Can you imagine what it must have been like? At first they thought He was a ghost, but eventually they realized He was the Son of God, literally walking on the water toward them, and He calmed their storm! Can you imagine what they told their wives when they asked “So honey, how was your day today?”

These true stories are some of my favorites in the entire Bible. I have read them more times than I could possibly count, have taught them and have written about them. If you had asked me if I knew these stories, I would have confidently told you I knew these passages well. The other day, God informed me that I had missed a very important point in the story!

Wait! What did I miss? I’ve read this a gabillion times! Maybe you have too, but even so, read it with me again. It’s amazing how there are so many nuggets of truth in God Word. This one is nestled right there at the end of the story about the disciples in the storm. Jesus has just calmed the chaos and climbed in the boat. The disciples are dripping with rainwater and doubt when Mark 6:51-52 says “they were utterly astonished, for they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves but their heart was hardened.”

When I read this Scripture for the thousandth time the other night, my mouth literally dropped open, and it was as if I read it for the first time. They had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves but their heart was hardened? Are you kidding me? How did they watch the Son of God take a handful of food and literally transform it into enough food to fill the stomachs of thousands upon thousands of hungry people and think He was clueless about the storm they were about to sail into? How could they stand so near to Jesus, watch Him lay His hands on sick bodies and watch them be healed, hear God robed in flesh as He spoke comfort to grieving hearts and allow their own hearts to be hardened? How could they miss the miracles?

The same way I do.

How can I go through my day and not see God’s provision in my life? Have I not gained any insight from the miraculous incidents God has allowed to be played out right in front of me? There were so many times I told God how hard infertility was, and how alone I felt. God provided a friend to share my burden, to help me carry this weight. Perhaps she was God’s way of providing the bread and fish to my hungry soul! Did I miss God’s measure of peace in my storm, spoken to me through my pastor’s sermon, or a kind word from a friend? I don’t want to miss out! I don’t want my heart to be hardened.

As we all do, I sometimes forget to thank god for all the blessings I have in my life. I have the best family and friends a person could ask for. Thank you God for giving me the many blessings you do.

Everyone have a great weekend. See you at the Ham and Turkey Festival!

Love,
Jessica

Unhappy People

**I have just been dealing with some of these people lately and found this article***

This has been on my mind for a couple of days on how to deal with these people, I am looking for my answer. Jessica

Unhappy people are usually unhappy because they have not mastered the ability to be happy within themselves. Therefore, they may try and gain happiness/pleasure through others no matter what that entails. Don't get confused with my usage of unhappiness and then compare it to depression because they are two different things. This article is about unhappy people - not depressed people.

An unhappy person often uses others to get what they need out of life. At first this may work, but after a while the relationship begins to experience problems because their partner cannot tolerate the life getting literally sucked out of them. This kind of needy and spongy behavior is what the medical and psychiatric establishments like to call, "codependency".

There is nothing really wrong with these kinds of people, except for the fact they need to come out of their selfishness, grow up, be accountable and take responsibility for their own happiness. Unfortunately when certain establishments coin codependency as some life long emotional problem, people don't take responsibility for their behavior. For them it's always someone else's fault why they drink, why they look at porn, why they do drugs, why they have an anger management problem, why they feel like the whole world owes them a favor, and why they continue to live a bitter filled existence.

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." -- Og Mandino

The problem begins when the unhappy person does not get all of their needs and desires met through someone else and believe they are unhappy because of the person they married. But in actuality nothing is further from the truth. Unhappy and bitter people have made an addiction for themselves - they have a compulsion to wallow in their misery. They are stuck inside of their discontent and bitter heart and can't get out, no matter how much they continue to use and abuse others for happiness.

The miserable person may even seem jovial to others on the outside - they go to work every day, take care of their families, and seem to have a normal life, but on the inside something is amiss with these unhappy, bitter folks. They often complain about others, and try and control any one they can to get their needs and desires met. But marriage, and any relationship for that matter, cannot stand up under such abuse and the marriage usually ends in divorce.

So, what can an unhappy person do to help themselves out of their misery? First off the unhappy person should realize that happiness does not grow on trees - you cannot get happiness through others. You are hurting so many people in the process of creating happiness for yourself and that is very wrong.

Happiness is found within the person you are - you master happiness for yourself, once you master the art of connecting with your Creator. If your connection is faulty so will be the person you can be - the whole and complete person you were created to become. Happiness is made through building up your spiritual connection with God. God gives us everything we need to sustain ourselves with. If you have made room in your heart for His wisdom, knowledge and love, then you will find happiness within.

Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you shall receive, and your JOY will be complete." (John 16:24 NIV)

ABC's of Hope

Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with Thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4;8

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16

Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6

He that abideth in me, and I in Him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Psalm 31:1

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 1:21

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever. Psalm 106:1

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Psalm 80:18

Rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee... Deuteronomy 26:11

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:2

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live; and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Psalm 119:116

Verily, verily, I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you. John 16:23

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... Psalm 127:1

Ye shall seek Me, and find Me when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion... Psalm 128:5

Scriptural references are from the King James version of the Bible

Heavy Hearts

As I write this blog to day I write with a heavy heart. Yesterday we found out that Heather and Eddie(our pastor and his wife) had a miscarrige of their second child. My heart hurt so bad for them last night. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of the loss that they are suffering.

I keep thinking of this bible verse: Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

**I found this poem today and it made me think of their family.**

I never got to know you before you went away,
Because God took you home to heave where we’ll meet another day.
God says you’re his tiniest angel and you need to come home.
For reasons I don’t know , you went where angels roam.
Please know how much I miss you and though I may not understand,
I will trust a God who is faithful and live the life he has planned.
He says that you’lll be whole now so there is no need to cry .
Then reminds me of his own son, who on the cross for me had died.
I know one day I’ll meet you, but for now I will just stand still
And not question our Father’s reason because I know that it’s his will.
If I look when night is darkest at the stars that twinkle bright,
I will see God’s tiniest angel and the wings reflecting light.

Please continue to pray for this Eddie, Heather and both of their families as they deal this loss.

We love you guys!

Finally Over...

The dreaded home study is finally over. It was a long weekend and long start to the first of the week. Yesterday was the home study we had been preparing for. I would venture to say if people had to do everything on the list to get their house ready they would think twice about having kids. We cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. The house looks really good. Sunday we went to Home Depot and spent about $100 to buy some stuff to childproof the house. Only to discover that yesterday it didn't matter. She didn't check to see if any drawers or cabinets had the locks on them. The caseworker was at hour home for about 20 minutes total. She asked us several questions and did a brief walk through of the home. She gave us hope that we would have a child in our house by the first of the year. It may only be to foster but it is a start. We are so excited to possibly have a child here by Christmas. Christmas would be so different in our house.

We have a little more paperwork to complete and our training starts on 09/15 for 9 weeks. Keep us in your prayers daily.

Hurt and New Friendships

Never before did I imagine the impact infertility could have on a couple. Never did I dream that I could hurt so bad for something I didn’t have. All along the way, many times I was told by many people God has a plan for you and Sean. As many times as I heard it, sometimes it was often hard to accept. As the days, then months and eventually years past I wondered when was this plan going to come into effect.

I can see now as I come closer to God and open my heart the plan is starting to form. The times I strayed away seemed to be the times I hurt the most. God has placed some very important people in our lives right now that are helping us in our walk. Without the positive influence of Heather every time I talk to her I don’t know how I would go some days. She has became one of my close and dearest friends and I thank God every day for giving me a friend like that. I look back and see how Sean had been put on the pastor search committee to find the perfect pastor for us. Was it all in the plan? Did they find just want we needed? A pastor for a hurting church and a new set of friends for a hurting couple? I seem to think it happened for a reason…and I am VERY thankful for it.

Sean and I did receive some great news today. Home study is 08/12/09. We no longer have to attend the training at the Lake of the Ozarks, they enrolled us in the ones in Jefferson City and our background and fingerprints will be all done in the next week.
I am very very excited. Keep us in your prayers.

Our love,
Sean and Jessica

Wedding Pictures

We got a sneak peak of Stephanie and Andrew's wedding pictures today. Check them out. It was a beautiful day and they made such a beautiful couple. I feel blessed to have been a part of it.

http://meganthiele.blogspot.com/

Why do I worry?

I got an email about worry today and it really made me think. Now if any of you know me you know that I am a natural worrier. I worry about anything and everything. Here lately it has been about the kitchen remodel and the home study. For some reason I just am not the kind of person to let things go and realize it will all be taken care of and fall into place. However, after reading the email I sort of see things a little different.

Ponder this thought...

As infertile couples, there are many issues that we face that other people don’t even consider. For example, the dreaded baby shower! Other people get an invitation to a baby shower and the only complaint they have is that they don’t have time to run to the store to pick up a gift! The woman who struggles with infertility knows what’s inside the envelope as soon as she sees it in the mailbox. It weighs at least 1,000 pounds as she carries it inside! She has to sit down and cry for a few minutes before she garners enough strength to open it up and read it. She forces herself to read the “happy” news, and writes the date and time down on her calendar, right next to the reminder that she has another appointment for blood work on the same day. As she wipes her eyes and blows her nose, she wonders how she’ll make it through another baby shower. Oh, she’ll go! It’ll kill her, but she’ll go! Why? She worries what people would think if she didn’t go. She worries that she’ll be viewed as selfish if she forces herself to go, but cries the whole time. She just worries.

She worries about her future too. She worries that the strain is going to be too much on her marriage. She worries that if she is never able to conceive, that she and her husband won’t be able to agree on whether or not to adopt. She worries that if they can’t agree on adoption, that they will never have children. She worries that she will die alone. She just worries.

**Now for the best part of the email***

Do you realize that the very same God who said to you “Do not kill,” and “Do not steal,” also says to you “Do not worry”? He says not to worry because not only does worry weigh you down and make you fearful, worry does nothing to help the situation! And which of you by worrying can add a sing hour to his life’s span? How beautiful it is for God to tell you not to worry! He can do this because He is the One who can make right all the wrongs in your life! He has all power and authority in Heaven and in earth and He tells you not to worry! He even hold authority over infertility, and He tells you not to worry!

He says the same to you today. “Don’t worry, daughter. I know the desires of your heart. You feel all alone in this struggle, but I’m right there with you. I’ll take care of you through it all.” You simply don’t have to worry. Whatever God’s plan is for you, He tells you not to worry because He is fully capable of taking care of you throughout the entirety of His plan. From start to finish, you are under His care, so you can find rest.

Does that mean every thing will be easy sailing? Not necessarily. But we know that God has known every day of your life from beginning to end (Psalm 139:16), and He is fully capable of seeing you through good days and bad, happy times and sad. No matter what you face, whether it is pregnancy, miscarriage, adoption, joy, sorrow, or any combination thereof, God is able to see you through. And because He is able to see you through, He says to you, don’t worry.

So my goal for the next few months is not to worry(as much) as I normall do. I know it will all come together and things will be just the way they are meant to be. My friends, remind me of this daily. It really helps to have the encouragement of others.

Home Study Approaching

Well I sit here today with a lot on my mind. Mainly the thought of our home study finally coming next week. I wonder will our home be as perfect as I want it? What more could we need? There is Sean, myself and our little dog Sammy. The house is filled with more love than a person could imagine. We are so ready to share this love with a child that needs to be loved.

I have never felt the urgency of wanting a child as much as I have in this last month. A few of the girls I go to church with have found out they are pregnant and honestly I have to say the little bit of my jealous side came out. But as my wonderful husband tells me...."our turn is coming". Well our turn will start next week. I almost feel like I have the anticipation of being pregnant...I know I know....it is not the same but yet it kind of is. We don't know the sex of the child going to be given to us. Sean says he wants only boys if he can choose....we will see when that happens.

We will be attending foster/adoption classes starting on September for 9 weeks. We will go every Thursday night from 6-9pm. This will prepare us four our exciting journey.

I came a cross this website today and felt I should share. I have delt with many struggles and challenges along our way and want everyone to know who has not delt with this issue it is very hard. I know that everyone knows someone going through the hard time of infertility. Just remember what you say to that person. What sounds good to you may sound completly different in a childless couples ears.


Some Do's and Don'ts to Say To A Childless Couple.

Please Don't Say: "This must be the will of God for your life."- That may be, but if you lost a loved one to death, would you really want someone to say that to you in your grief?

Please Do Say: "Can I pray with you about this"?

Please Don't Say: "You can always adopt a child"- True, and adoption is a blessing for alot of people, but for many women they still feel the need to bear a child. Consider Proverbs 30:15-16,..."There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'enough'!: the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, 'Enough!'

Please Do Say: "I will pray for you fervently and ask the Lord to bless you and give you the desire of your heart".

Don'ts with Quotes
"You're trying too hard, it should just happen." or "You should adopt and then you'd get pregnant."
Only one percent of couples who adopt, get pregnant.

A Quote: "This always irritated me too . . . I guess because it made me feel like it was 'my fault' I couldn't get pregnant. You know, like if we would start to adopt, we would relax and 'bingo' we'd be doing it right and get pregnant!"

"Stress is causing it" or "You just need to *relax* and you'll get pregnant."

A Quote: " Infertility is not just a state of mind. Relaxing didn't make me start ovulating, it was the Clomid"

"I'd give you mine if I could"

A Quote: "I understand that the person is just trying to say she cares, but this can be a particularly painful statement for the women with an infertility problem"

"You are so lucky not to have kids right now, because you can just do whatever you want whenever you want"

A Quote: "It just gets frustrating because we all want children, and it seems like people try to "comfort" me by telling me all of the negative reasons on why not to have children. Like I said it would be nice if we had the choice of being parents or not in the first place."

" God knows what is best for you"

A Quote: "I know that these are very true statements but when I'm feeling about as low as I can be and I'm balling my eyes out these words aren't very comforting coming from people that have children and have no clue as to what my husband and I are going through."

Extremely insensitive things to say to the childless women
"Would you like one of my children?"
"So, you have to go through a little treatment, no big deal."
"So are you still trying?"
"Have a bun in the oven yet?"
"When are you going to give me a grand baby?"
"Maybe you're not doing it right."
"Isn't she/he cute... wouldn't you like one"

Some Do's' Don'ts and Quotes, from woman who have miscarried.
"At least it didn't have a heartbeat yet."

A Quote: " I still mourn the loss of our children. I wonder what they would have been like. I wonder who they would have looked like, whether they were sons or daughters. How can people be so crass at such a heart wrenching experience?

"It was probably nature's way of resolving a deformity"

A Quote: "It isn't true that most miscarriages are due to a problem with the development of the fetus, but many people think this is the case. Again, it is hardly comforting".

Do Say: "I am so sorry that you lost the baby. I know how much you loved and wanted it."
*Thank you LIW for this special list of Do's, Don'ts and quotes. I really appreciate you sending them to me*

Thanks to all our friends and family for being so supportive in our decision to go through with this.

Weekend Come and Gone..

The weeked for the most part was kind of blah. Saturday Jessica and I went shopping at the Lake of the Ozarks. It was a great day out. Sean worked all day at the jail. He came home and then we went and spent the evening with the Roberts Family. It was a nice evening.

Then yesterday.....where do I start? We kind of planned on missing church yesterday. I don't do the best on mothers & fathers day. I guess it is hard to understand. It seems like on those days I really get emotional and jealous that I don't get to participate. It is proabably very selfish of me but oh well. Sean and I instead spent the morning re-arraning the front bedroom. We got a twin bed from Stephanie and set it up in there. The room looks more like a bedroom now. I wanted to get this done before our home study. The afternoon was spend arguing with each other over stupid stuff. Like I said before it was just one of those emotional days. Sean worked at the jail last night and I spent the evening with my family. We went and visited both sets of grandparents gravsides. Then I went home, made some jewlery and chilled out by watching Bridezillas.

Today is a better day. Hopefully they all get to being better and better each day.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see!
Hebrews 11:1

It's just one of those days!

Well could the day have started any better? While we were driving I heard a funny sound, Sean said we just hit a bump. Well by the time we got to Jefferson City we had a flat tire. Sean got it changed only to realize we needed a new tire. So we ended up putting 2 new tires on the van.

Then I finally make it to work only to realize my coffee cup had a hole it it and I had coffee all over me. I am not in a good mood by this point.
So to say the least I have stayed pretty quiet and just tried to keep to myself because I am just in a weird mood today. I am tired and cranky and I really need a NAP.

We finally did get the bachlorette party shirts done last night....One thing to mark of my list.
Seems like this next month will be hectic with surgery, bachlorette party, rehearsal dinner and finally the wedding.

Oh how I am looking forward to August!

A great weekend..

Well the weekend has came and went. Saturday was busy with Stephanie and Andrew's Family shower. It was great. The weather was perfect. We could have not asked for a nicer day at the park. I am so happy we had a such a good turn out.

Yesterday was spent at the park for our church picnic. The weather was beautiful yesterday as well. Sean and I then went home and was lazy all afternoon. There is nothing better than laying on the couch and having Sean hold me all afternoon while we watched tv.

Andrea will be coming over tonight to work on bachlorette party stuff. We need to pick a design for the shirts for the party. I am looking forward to helping choose that. Stephanie just sent me the rest of her engagement pictures. They are really good. Take a look www.pictage.com/670797

Check out Stephanie and Andrew's Engagement Pictures

• • • m e g a n t h i e l e s t u d i o s • • •

Click the link-These pictures are great. Can't wait for the wedding :)

Today is a much better day...

Well after my little melt down yesterday I am feeling better. I realize I have the BEST husband in the world. How could I not be any happier? He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has a huge heart. I may not always want to listen to what he is telling me but I know 99.9% of the time he is right. I just have so many blessings in my life that I sometimes forget to step back and count them...and that is what I did yesterday.

So my goal for this journey is not to let myself get to upset or let the stupidity of others bother me. I am only responsible for myself and my actions. Here's to a new day and a busy weekend.

And So The Journey Begins

Sean and I have finally decided that after about 4 years fo trying to conceive on our own that it was now time to try a different route. Sean and I have prayed about this decision for quite a while now and we feel that we are ready to begin this new journey in our lives.

Last night we finished all of the paperwork to begin the adoption/foster parent process. I felt like the papers were never going to end. From gathering our references to getting copies of our birth certificates, drivers licenses, SS cards and marriage certificate, I though it was never going to end. Then came the task of choosing the perfect snapshot of us. I went for our picture from a birthday party we recently attended. Finally having everything in order the papers were put in the mail at 8am this morning....now the wait.

We have told all of our immediate family and close friends about our decision. We have gotten a world wind of resposes. Seems everyone has their opinion and they aren't afraid to tell us. I appreciate every concern and trust me we have talked about almost all of them. Sean and I are going to love a child whether it is black, yellow red or green,

I told Sean on the way to work this morning this is the best I have felt in 3-4 years. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me and now I can finally be excited about having a child. I am ready for my turn to be the one to talk about all of the excitement of becoming a new parent.

My hope is that everything goes smooth for us and we will become parents soon. Sean and I have a lot of love to give a child. We both have the best family and friends in the world. Thank you all who have given us so much love and support already. We look forward to sharing our journey with you.

All our Love,
Jessica